Monthly Archives: Απρίλιος 2010

only women bleed, and other thoughts of a raisin girl

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There’s 2 things I should tell you about Tori Amos.

1) One she’s my fave girl on the planet and 2) She usually is the only one person understanding her lyrics. So here’s a little help for all those non-torifilles, as quoted at:

http://www.songfacts.com/detail.php?id=2545.

«The cereal bowl is used as a metaphor for divisions among women. The «Cornflake Girls» are narrow-minded while the «Raisin Girls» are open to new ideas.»

I think it must have been one of those moments, when a man just sits down and thinks what a great and honourable and hard thing it must be to be a woman. Such must have been the moment when Alice Cooper (a man with a woman’s name!) wrote ‘only women bleed’.

To give birth, to mother, to feed, to look after, to seduce, to offer a smile and a hug without much calculation or effort, to love, to nourish, to comfort, to look and feel and act softer.

This woman is at a turning point. She is, in fact, turning 35 this June. So, what is the fuss about? Well, it’s not about the new lines-wanna be wrinkles. Not that I didn’t invest in a new, enhanced, wrinkle-fighter earlier this month, but still this is a mere detail. It’s not even about new roles and the responsibility that lies right next to them. No, it’s not about the speeding years laughing by.

‘This girl has got potential’. I’ve heard this a lot in my prime years. ‘She can go places.’

Wasted potential, that’s the scariest part. BEING WORRIED ABOUT LOST POTENTIAL. And don’t kid yourself, I’m not just talking about career here. IT COULD BE ANYTHING. From the lost train (like in that great film ‘sliding doors’ ) to the lost job, to the lost evenings spent in front of the telly, to the lost nights spent sober, to the lost days spent in the shadow of ignorance, to the lost weekends spend without friends and loved ones.

It is about the realisation that when mum said, ‘sorry love, I don’t have time for this right now,’ she meant every word she said. Scary isn’t it?

Fighting to squeeze in manicures and facials, with a 60-hour work week, newly discovered wife-ing with work relations and friendship, the balances seem endless. And the goals even more and most of the times conflicting.

I am not making any discoveries here. Just browsing through any women’s magazine will tell you the same thing. Women juggle personal and professional roles, being employees or employers, managers or assistants, lovers and friends, daughters and mothers, while being THEMSELVES.

They care about fashion, beauty, culture, politics, decoration, the arts, ecology, fitness, health, economics, children and the future of this planet.

Women do the shopping or when they don’t do the shopping they do the planning. Or when they don’t do the planning they do the coordinating. They manage homes. They walk their dogs (statistically more often than their partners.) They write/blog, or in any other way EXPRESS themselves. They cook, they clean, or they hire another woman to cook and clean for them. And at the end of the day they still manage to look great, or at least decent, but nevertheless sweet. They manage a smile. And they still have energy to do more (if necessary). It’s like they work on rechargeable batteries. You can count on them.

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blocking out the noise…

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Blocking out the noise was not something I would naturally do. I had to learn to do it.

My every instinct would urge me to listen to all unnecessary blah blah blah for no apparent reason. No, it’s not gossip. It’s not curiosity. Usually I couldn’t care less. It’s just a deficiency, some error in the system, a bug maybe, pushing me in the wrong direction.

I self-taught me (me, me, me!)  how to meticulously NOT LISTEN to every single stupid piece of information that goes around me. How to stop picking the garbage and start picking the coins, the pieces of gold. And wait till I tell you what great things I discovered!!

Lately I choose which sounds to listen to. I choose which voices to hear. And choosing is healthy. Trust me. I know what I’m talking ‘bout. Whether or not I’m wearing my headphones, choosing is my flagship. It is a state of mind. (…like that t-shirt E. used to wear that quoted ‘don’t let the bastards put you down’) It is a safety net, if you like.

Disregarding information is not easy. The brain works in mysterious ways, storing trash, hiding crucial information and totally removing important data. It’s almost as if our hard disks have crashed and we cannot access parts of our memory, whilst at the same time some of our files and folders accidentally end up in our recycle bins.

Well, no one said it was going to be easy… perhaps only hard things are worthwhile.

dressed like… a present!

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It’s been a long time, I know. At first I thought of starting a new blog. Now actually I am still thinking about that, but this is going to be a concept blog, and that’s another story altogether.

Then sth happened to my computer, and I had to pause my blogging activities anyway. Then my second language skills requested that I use them day and night. Then I imagined all those thinking «oh, crap, that’s it, she’s lost it», then I thought, well those thoughts are counter-productive, and I tossed them.

Then it hit me. It was so much harder to start again, as if there had never existed a blog. As if all this time put so much distance between my fingers and the keyboard, between my silly doodly-hearty notes and YOU.

Oh, crap, I thought again. Who cares. Do as you please and maybe it’s for the better. Besides THIS was supposed to be fun. If I am going to have this as another form of supression, source of guilt, and not enjoy it, then what’s the point?

Well, hello again, and let me tell you I have spent all this time… dressed like a present! It’s true!!!! 😉